Ladies and Bad Boys – Jack Nicholson!

Why do girls like bad boys?

I fell for a guy I met on holiday after about two weeks of seeing him
– I’m pretty much a sucker for love. He’s perfect, which is completely
unexpected as I normally go for some blue-eyed bad boy. Things have
been going great but then last week I received a text from an ex
“blue-eyed bad boy” – the one I never seem to have got over. I told
him I am seeing someone but he says his misses me blah blah. Another
mind game? Wanting one thing? Should I believe him? Can I resist him?
And this drama has made me question my feelings for my other Mr
Perfect. Advice, please!

Kevin says:

I’ve never understood the attraction of the bad boy but that’s because
I’m a man. Bad girls are not similarly coveted. We don’t fancy women
more because they can beat up other girls or open beer bottles with
their teeth. I can appreciate bad boys seem quite cool when you’re at
school but I’m not sure what benefits they offer in adult life, apart
from opportunities to stroke a Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

So I can’t really empathise. But what I can say is that if you’re
wondering whether you can trust ol’ blue eyes, I think the clue is in
the term “bad boy”. I’m presuming he’s messed you about before, so he
will definitely do so again. Yet you’ll keep going back for more
because you find it so thrilling to be sexually touched by a man with
an anti-establishment ideology.

[See also: ‘Is he playing mind games?’]

This is bad news for Mr. Perfect, who is being punished just because
he isn’t horrible enough. But if something good can come from this,
maybe it’s you realising the bloke you fell in love with after two
weeks isn’t the right one after all. And nor is the bad boy, because
he’s too bad.

Maybe you should have a bit of ‘me time’ and stop dating men
impulsively, irrespective of their suitability. Be picky. Surely
there’s a geezer out there who strikes the right balance between ‘bad’
and ‘nice’. Someone who’s a bit cool and cheeky, but with a good
heart. Eamonn Holmes, basically. He’s the one. Go for it.

Christine says:

Yes, it definitely seems you’re a sucker for something, although I’m
not sure it’s love. Ah “bad boys” – they’re so sexy and romantic, like
James Dean and Phil Mitchell. Let’s remember of course “bad boys” are
not ‘bad’ because they don’t pick up litter and never get their tax
return in on time. It is usually because they eye up other women,
don’t call when they say they will, despise commitment and generally
mess you about. Hot!

The problem is we always want something more if it is just out of our
reach and we have to work for it. So while Mr. Perfect Holiday Man
turns up to meet you on time with some flowers, the one that forgets
your birthday and calls you Carol by accident will always have an
appealing air of mystery about him.

This works the other way around too. It’s very telling this guy
suddenly misses you now he knows you are seeing someone else. If
there’s one thing that bad boys hate, it’s someone taking their place
in your affections. They might not want you, but they like to know
you’re still there in case they get lonely.

Whether or not you can resist bad boy’s dubious charms is up to you.
Go and meet him if you want to hear what he has to say, but I will
guess it won’t be much different from the last time you heard it.

Why not give Perfect Holiday Man a proper chance? If you want to
recreate some of your previous excitement you can always ask him to
ignore you at regular intervals or say your legs look fat. See if that