Vincent – Finance Minister in Browneland – This Paradise of Milk and Honey and Equality – Arise Sir Vincent, Knight of Broadford.

Vichenzo von Braun suggests that in the interests of equality of treatment for the elderly and the less well off

1. Old Age pension and unemployment assistance be doubled at a cost of €2 billion

2. Removal of all tax breaks for private pensions – save €3.5 billion (he forgets that most of this is deferred taxation)

3. 30,000 redundancies in the public service – save €3 billion annually but takes 3 years to organise. How much will he pay for redundancy? von Braun wrote REDUNDANCIES not early retirements. So the average public sector pension is €21,618 per year. That means that the average pay is double that – about €43,200 ie If the redundancy payout is on average about 1 years pay = That is nearly €1.3 billion in cost. If it the average HSE pay of double gthe average HSE pension of €14,801 = €29,600 then 1 year pay will be €888 million. Then if the pensions accrued are added,that is even more. If you look at this as pay only foregone and the average pay is €43,200, then multiply by 30,000 = approx €1.3 billion. Where is Vichenzo’s saving of €3 billion coming from? I think that this is enough. I won’t go into statutory redundancy or the costs of his doubled dole payments etc for some of these people who have done the state some service.

Abolish all public service pensions

This is very very sensible and obvious. Why did I not think of this before? Contracts do not matter. No incentive to work. That is of course entirely unnecessary. Any sensible person would work if there is a job to be done. Just look at the women of Africa. They are happy to work while gthe men get on with the serious business of drinking, playing games and sleeping. Nobody would mind giving up welfare benefits to take up any job. When foreigners qualify for benefits, they can come here so that we will have equality of access across the whole of Europe. The widow in Latvia should join her daughter and leave the allotments, pigs and poultry at home where the pension is about €100 per month to come here to the land of milk and honey – Browneland. The exodus from north of the border would be breathtaking to behold. Imagine £50 a week up there and €380 down here. No wonder Gerry Adams is heading south. Gerry – Vote for Vincent, it’s a no brainer.

Vincent for Finance Minister.

He can conduct his Budget Negotiations with the EU live on TV3.

To-night – “Vincent shows Angela Merkel who’s boss”.

Unfortunately, in her confusion, Vincent forgets to mention to the Chancellor that he hails from Limerick and his subject is rugby. Boss is the Ulster No 9. Angela thinks the whole country is mad and tells the translator to tell Vincent to leave his IOU’s in Frankfurt because she has a headache and wants to head back to Berlin ASAP.

Do you think that if I wrote such conceptual brilliance that Madam Editor would publish? but isn’t it great to see Newton Emerson on the same page! Newton claims he can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mind the speed traps Vincent.